Huh?
It seems like a dream! I'm gonna try to explain what it's like and give an overview of what I'm doing next. I'll do one more post after this with some tips for Thailand-bound missionaries on things to buy or what to expect, but after that, I'll be done posting on the blog! Thanks for sticking with me through this crazy ride that I called my mission.
So the going home process was an interesting one. Thursday morning I took my tripanionship down to Bangkok on my last Nakonchai Air bus (not sure if I'll miss that annoying theme song they always play on the bus or not). The bus got a late start,so I missed my exit interview... which ended up being just fine, because I got to interview with President later in his study at his and Sis Senior's condo!! So cool.
Anyway, they took me and Sis Tilley out to dinner at this super fancy Thai restaurant in an 80-year-old Thai home. BEST last dinner in Thailand ever! Then we did a little "talk about the mission and bear you testimony" meeting back at their apartment.... and Tim-Tam Slammed! It was so fun and felt like hanging out with good friends and not super emotional or dramatic. It was perfect. It was without all the fanfare and drama that comes with finishing your mission at a transfer meeting. Looooved it!
After that they put us up in a hotel near the office, and we didn't sleep a wink! I was soooooooo nervous! I had this pit in my stomach, I wasn't sure if it was upset stomach from bad bus food or anxiety, or what. But morning came, and we met up with Sis Senior and the APs and they dropped us off at the sky train where we took our baggage to the airport. Elder Nirut, a native Thai missionary drove us there and it was one of the funniest things I've seen. One time he almost hit a motorcyclist with the van and he yelled, "FREAK!!!!!"
....So then we were at the airport, and we were going through immigration and Sis Senior disappeared through the crowd, and we were getting on a plane. The pit in my stomach was getting bigger, so I pulled out my journal to catch up on while the plane was filling up with passengers. And then the engines turned on and I felt the wheels leave the ground and that's finally when all the tears came out. Up until that point it didn't seem real and I didn't actually believe that I would actually leave Thailand and stop being a missionary, but when I felt that we were not longer on Thai soil, it kind of all came crashing down on me and I just had to sit there with my eyes closed and let the tears come out until they were gone.
So now I'm home! It's a weird mixture of being happy, confused, sad, overwhelmed, scared, excited and sick. The American food is messing with my stomach, but it sure tastes good! The weather is a little chilly, but the family is soooo good. I love my family! They're the only thing that made coming home OK. I've been snuggling baby ever since I got off the plane.
As for adjusting to non-missionary life....... I still feel naked without my tag. My best friend sent me a playlist of music, and after 2 songs I had to turn it off because I got overwhelmed. Going into a room by myself feels weird, and I'm really missing the sun. Still haven't watched a movie, and I'm not sure if the clothes that I bought on Saturday are cute or not.
Basically, I went from rejecting any thought that distracted me from my purpose to all of a sudden being able to think whatever, eat whenever, sleep whenever, watch whatever and listen to whatever. But the guilt is still there, and so I've opted to listening to hymns, doing the dishes, and avoiding movies. I'm making a big step by watching a movie today! We'll see how it goes.
Went to the temple on Saturday. SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD!!!!! After having taught the Plan of Salvation a million times, it made the endowment much more meaningful. I felt like I actually understood it this time! Love the temple! Can't wait to go back.
Jet-lag is a killer. The night I got home I decided to wake up at 9AM. I woke up at 8AM to use the restroom and thought to myself, "Well, I'll just lay back down for another hour." Dad woke me from a deep sleep at 12PM. Oops.
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| What do you do when you first get home from your mission....? |
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| Play in a bucket truck! |
I randomly speak Thai to my family on accident, but they think it's funny, so it isn't so bad.
So uhhh... yeah! I'm taking it a day at a time. I really miss Thailand.... but I know I'll be back someday. Right now I just need to focus on learning how to be a person again. Fine dining and breathing (kudos if you get tha treference). Next Monday I fly to Provo for school. Animation classes start on Tuesday. That's where the fear comes in. Do I even remember how to draw or animate? Haven't really done that in 2 years! I doodled occasionally on the mission, but serious drawing was a distraction so I cut it out..... I'm pretty scared. Crossing my fingers for mission blessings!!
So next blog post I'll answer some questions on "what bag should I buy?" or "what shoes should I buy?" "just how hot is it?' and such, so stay tuned!
Love y'all!
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