Sawad dii khaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

 

You know what's funny? 'Khaa' with a mountain tone also means to kill, so basically females in Thailand always end their sentences with "killll".

 

So time here is still crazy. Sometimes I feel like it's SUPER slow, but then sometimes I think, "Oh whoa. I'm already HALF WAY THROUGH??" My zone is pretty much consistent of missionaries that all came on the same day, so we're all counting down together! Have I told you who all is in my zone? There's us 5 Thais, like 15 Cambodians, 3 Vietnamese, and about 5 Mhongs. We have a lot of fun. I feel bad for our nccng Thais who come in a WEEK AND A HALF!!! (whoop whoop!) 'Cause after we all leave, they're going to be the only ones in the zone! Sundays are going to be very lonely. haha 

 Anyway. I love my calling. I got to interview the senior companions on Sunday and I loved listening about their strengths, their triumphs, and also their weaknesses. I tried really hard to lead like Christ would, to listen and to direct them to always be better! Right now our district is working on sarcasm. ....We kind of have a problem. We're working on it though!

 

I'm super excited right now, because two of the cambodians in my zone are HUGE Avatar: The Last Airbender fans!!!!! It makes me so happy. Also, we all agree that Toph is the coolest character ever, so I pretty much love them even more now. Cool people going to cool places, I tell ya.

So last P-day was the most amazing day ever. I didn't include it in my last email 'cause it all happened after I sent the email!! So, we always go to the temple on P-days, and I like to go to the temple with a question in mind, 'cause it's at the temple when I always get the most direct answers (pretty awesome, I tell you). Well, that week I had been pretty discouraged. I'm really impatient with myself. Basically I want to be a perfect teacher now, and I wasn't allowing myself to feel ok that the MTC is the Missionary TRAINING Center, not the Missionary PERFECT Center. My companionship are tons more unified and are really close, but we're not perfect, and I was just super bummed! I didn't know if I was working hard enough, or what I was doing wrong. Well, at the temple I picked up a triple combination and kind of just opened to a random page and BOOM opened right to D&C 6, which talks about being called of God and being forgiven and was just SO perfect and gave me the comfort and knowledge that Heavenly Father is pleased with me. He knows I'm working hard, and He will guide me if I continue to repent and change daily and just put my whole heart into! So I came out of the temple feeling preeeeetty good.

 

But wait! That wasn't the end of it!

 

Guess. Who came. To the devotional.

 

.........

 

RICHARD G. SCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

SERIOUSLY?!??!!? An Apostle of the Lord came to speak at Tuesday Devotional!!! I was in the choir so I was even in the same room as him!!!!!! And guess what scripture he based his talk on? Yup. D&C 6. Yeah. I'm not kidding. He talked about having more meaningful prayers with God, and finding comfort in missionary service through prayer. I was in awe.

 

Here are some notes!

 

"God did not put us on Earth to fail, but to succeed gloriously."

"You are His child. You can trustingly approach Him."

"DON'T RUSH THROUGH COMMUNICATION WITH GOD."

"Be careful to seek His will."

"Sometimes when God does not give a response, it means that He trusts you to make the right decision. If you make the wrong choice, He will not let you go too far down that path without giving a warning."

"Refuse to be discouraged."

"Be thankful that sometimes God let's you struggle."

"Pray even when you have no desire to pray."

 

Ok. So that wasn't even the best part. He gave us all an Apostolic Blessing that we will be able to learn our languages. That was so amazingly comforting, and I knew it was true. Also, after he had sat down after the talk, the closing prayer girl was getting up to gvie the benediction, when he all of a sudden rushed up there in his cute old-manly way and spoke some more!!! He spoke about having peace in the knowledge that God knows our struggles, that He has a plan for us on our missions. That he has called us to succeed and not fail. That we will find talents that we nver even knew we had. But the most important was this: you have been called.

 

What comfort and peace that brought! I was so astonished. I knew in that moment that he truly is an apostle of God. He is an inspired man. He loves us. It was so cute, as we all stood to watch him exit, he was waving at us and smiling. As he walked out, I realized I was crying. I was so filled with the love of God from that man. I knew my prayers had been answered. I knew that God loves me. I knew that He has called me, and that He will make me into the missionary He wants me to be. I am so honored to have this sacred calling. I know that this is what God wants me to do. What an amazing day and blessing that was! I am so full of joy. I can't wait to share this with the people of Thailand.

 

So on a less spiritual note... my district has been struggling to SYL (speak your language). Some of us (me) want to SYL ALL THE TIME! While others aren't as gung-ho as I. Our khruus (teachers) of course want us to nevere speak a word of English again, so they started a new game for us. It's called con salad. It means pirate, but literally it's translated as: "thief salad". LOL! I don't even know. It's awesome. I love Thai! Basically we have to speak as much Thai as possible in order to steal this little ship away from the con salad. It's fun and really good for us!

 

Also, we have new roommates! They're going to Taiwan. They're so awesome! Sis Burr, Graham, and Chang! Sis Chang is from Australia!! She's so sweet. She's a recent convert! Also, Sis Burr is teaching me how to do a head stand. It's gonna be a struggle, but I can't wait to be able to do it!

 

Anyway, sidtee rag phuagkhun! I love you all!! I say it every time, but Ima say it again, 

SEND ME LETTERS.

 

Love, 

     Sister Zaugg

Hello again! I feel like I was just sending an email... time is so weird at the MTC.

 

Well, not too much happened this week. We're kind of just settling into a regular routine. Same old, same old. An average day kind of looks like this:

 

6:30 Wake up, shower, pray

 

7:20 Go to breakfast!! I always get cheerios and cantaloupe. I think I've eaten more cantaloupe and honey dew in the last 4 weeks than I have in my entire life.

 

8:00 Teach an investigator! We're getting better. We're trying to use simple, but powerful techniques that invite the Spirit to teach. Sometimes I get really depressed after lessons, because I know where I want to be, and I feel like sometimes I'm never going to get there, but I usually get over it after a few hours. lol It drives my companions nuts, I'm trying to have more faith.

 

9:00-10:00 Class!! I love class. We learn so much about our purpose, how to be better servants of the Lord. It's funny, in the MTC we're preparing ourselves by constantly being reminded how much this isn't  about ourselves. It's very humbling. Also, we learn language and roleplay a lot during class. : )

 

11:00 Personal study. This can sometimes be really hard, especially when I'm tired, but I like the quote, "When you're tired, you can rest on your Savior's love." This time is precious to be able to be spiritually fed so that I can be prepared to teach with the power and the Spirit! Future missionaries: DO NOT WASTE PERSONAL STUDY! Don't do it. Just don't.

 

12:00 LUNCH!! I love lunch. I'm so hungry by the time it rolls around. Hahha I always tell myself that I'm going to eat healthy when I go to lunch, but I'm so starving that I just kind of go crazy. The cookies are so killer. I can't resist them. Like, yesterday, somehow I ended up with a cookie on my plate even when I didn't physically get up to get one. I dunno! The cookies love me too! I like lunch, too, 'cause that's when we hang out with our Cambodian friends. There's so many of them and so little of us Thais, that it's a nice change of pace. They're so crazy and fun. Compared to my district... we... cough... yeah. We're boring.

 

1: 00 Language study. This is when I just try to drill vocab.

 

2:00 Teach another investigator! We just started teaching twice a day. It's kinda crazy.

 

3:00 - 4:00 Class!!

 

5:00 Dinner!! Another exciting part of the day. Especially when there's the icecream bar AND cookies.

 

6:00  TALL (Technology Assissted Language Learning) Some people hate it, some love it. It's ok. I use it to work on my pronunciation and reading.

 

7:00 GYM!!!!!!!! I love gym. That's when I work off the cookies and try not to be demolished in four square. I can hold my own sometimes! Sis Barton is MERCILESS.

 

9:00 Extra study time

 

9:30 Daily planning!!

 

10:00 Get ready for bed/write in my journal/pray/talk to Sis Cloud about how awesome she is.

 

10:30 Go to sleep!

 

 

Yuuuup. That's about how it is every day. In about 2 weeks it's getting changed, though. P-days will no longer be on Tuesday, but Wednesday. That means when our Nccng Thais come it will be on our P-day!!!!! We're going to devote some time from then to stalking them. : ) Also, we found out that there's going to be a TRIO!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're so stoked. The generation will continue! We can't wait to tell our Phii Thais.

 

The cambodians that we room with leave today!! We're so excited for them, but we will dearly miss them. I would attach pictures of them, but for some reason the computer can't find my sd card for some reason. :/

 

OH. I just remembered  something kinda important. Oops. Haha I've been called to be one of the new Sister Training Leaders! It's kind of like a cross between the District Leader and Zone leader... but for the sisters. Haha I'm still not exactly sure what all my roles are. Basically have interviews weekly, check in with all the sisters and make sure they're following rules by leading by example with love~ You know how it is. I'm excited to have this opportunity to serve all the sisters in my zone. I love them so much!!

 

I've made the goal to mainly speak in Thai now, so we'll see how that goes. haha

 

Just want you all to know how important I know this work is. God loves all so much! The Gospel is the GREATEST thing in the world. I want every one to have it!! That's why I'm here. : )

 

Love you all!!

 

Sister Zaugg

Hello friends and family~

So... tomorrow marks 3 weeks in the MTC! Our Phii Thais left us yesterday. I'm so happy for them! They're going to do great. I'm looking forward to seeing them and possibly being in a companionship with some of them!

Our district has recently received a new member. The Elder companionship is now a threesome! Elder Hunt, one of our Phii Thais totally destroyed his knee while playing basketball a few weeks back, and now will be flying out to Thailand with us in 6 weeks. We're not sure if he'll be staying at the MTC until then or go home. It kind of sounds like he'll be going home to heal, but we'll see! Right now we're enjoying the neat little rectangle that we form at the table during meals. :O) Lesson to be learned: sports at the MTC take out more missionaries than any other reason! Every day I see SO MANY PEOPLE who have casts or splints! Not only that, but random illnesses are taking people, out, too. Already so many of the Phii Thais had to go home because of random disorders that popped up at the MTC. I think Satan is really working hard to keep us from teaching people about Christ. :O I sure hope I manage to make it out of the MTC alive! The chances look slimmer every day. 

Starting two days ago we started singing from the Thai hymn book at the beginning of classes. At first we were reading romanized versions (PS Thai songs are super easy because there are no tones), but now it's full blown SCRIPT. Script is interesting. You basically find the consonants and then scan all around them  to find vowels that are scattered about them. Sometimes consonants wear hats, sometimes pants, sometimes they have a three piece suit! On top of that, you have to remember if a consonant is high, middle, or low class, and if the vowel is short or long, and then notice if there is a tone marker. All of those combined make various tones and it's haaaaard! We have 'script cards' that tell us all those things. We call them the Urim and Thummim. :P

Thai is coming still. Tones are really killing me. If you want to say, 'I believe in Christ', "Sidtee chxua nay Phrayeesuu Khrid khaa" it will sound the exact same way when you say it 3 years from now. Tones are SO specific. I think I told you how some Phii Thais have said in discussions that they bought tigers instead of shirts, that Joseph Smith is evil, and give the investigator a relationship rather than an interview. WELL. Last week in a discussion with a new investigator I was trying to tell him that when you read the scriptures, God fills you with His love. Welllll, what I actually said because of tones was, "When you read the scriptures, God drinks until He dances." I was wondering why the investigator looked so confused!! I learned that day that you never ask a Thai person "khaw chay may khaa?" (do you understand?) because they will always say yes no matter what you say. haha!

My companionship with Sis Ng and Barton has really grown. We're really learning to lean on

each other and the Lord. At first we were trying so hard to plan every sentence out in a lesson, but we learned that you just can't do that! It's all about getting to know the person as an individual who has needs and concerns and who has been prepared by God to receive your message! You just have to go in and discern what they want/need to hear! We're still working on that, but we're finally starting to allow the Spirit to guide us. It's really hard. It's easy to think that it's all on us, that we have to do everything. I learn every day that I just have to rest on the Savior and He'll take me where He needs me. As long as I'm obedient, study hard and love my companions and the people I serve, I will be able to accomplish what I'm supposed to!

I've learned a lot of awesome words! I wanna share some. : )

Bobaboboa = crazy (SO fun to say)

phrabida bon sawan = Heavenly Father

pen pay DAY! = it's possible! (literally translated: is go can)

patiseed = deny/reject (we use this alot in four square)

chxa = believe

Thai is kinda like German. It's so literal. you just take a lot of words, stick them together and boom you have a new word! Savior is: Praphuuchuayhayrccd which literally translated is royal person who helps give salvation. Yup!

Love you all! Send me letters. : )

       Sister Zaugg

Sawadii kha krccbkhrua le phxuan khccn sidtee!! Hello my friends and family!!

So, even though I haven't quite been here for two weeks, it's still counted as 3 because of how the MTC works or something... Anyway, the second week was MUCH better than the first! We finally feel like we've been initiated into the MTC experience and kind of know what we're doing. A little bit. Last Wednesday was the BEST because all the new misisonaries came and some even asked us things like "where's the bathroom?"! We felt pretty cool, even though we didn't know how to answer most of them still. haha!

Recently we have discovered the ~*CHOIR*~. I knew that Aunt Wendy had really recommended it, but I've never liked choir so I hadn't really decided to go. However, our Phii Thais whom we cherish and follow around like puppies were all like, "GO TO CHOIR IT IS THE BEST THING AT THE MTC!!" So of course we went. And oh... my goodness... IT IS!! The choir director is hilarious. Not only are we singing in a huge choir with 800 other misisonaries all sharing our testimonies about the same thing, but we get like a little comedy hour AND he always has the best spiritual thoughts that really strengthen my own testimony! By the end I feel really light hearted and rested, but spiritually stronger. Plus, we got to sing in the giant sacrament meeting on Easter which was amazing.

Speaking of Easter, it was lovely! I hope your Easters were as fantastic as mine. We all had the sacrament at the same time! Which I guess has never been done before at the MTC. Sitting in the choir with all these other missionaries whose purpose is the same as mine, watching the pictures of Christ show on the big slideshow and reading the words of the song "The Lord is My Shepherd" just about did me in. It was so overwhelming. I just had this huge realization that Easter is the reason why we're missionaries! There have been so many devotionals lately about how even though we need to cater to investigators' personal needs and show how the Gospel helps them no matter the concern, that we must always remember that the one thing EVERYONE needs is to be freed from their sins and to live again. And that's what the Atonement is about!!! Christ took our sins upon Himself so that we can become better than what we are. He died for us so that we can live again with Him, God, and our families. What an amazing message! That is what we are sharing with the world. We are the Lord's Battalion in the 11th hour. It's amazing.

I learn so much about my purpose and Christ every day. Something I want to share is a message from David A. Bednar's talk, "The Character of Christ" which we watched after the devotional on Sunday. He tells us, "Just because you have a testimony doesn't mean you are converted unto the Lord. You are converted unto the Lord when you begin to take His characteristics upon yourself." How do you do that? What are the characteristics of Christ? Simply, it's turning out with love and compassion for our fellow man when the natural man in us would turn in. I would ask all of you the next time you're having a bad day and just want to complain about it and say, "look at me! wahh wahh!" Turn out and make it about someone else. Remember that even when Christ was dying on the cross, He still was more concerned about His mother, the thieves on the crosses next to Him, and the Romans.

Teaching is betterrr.... just not good. I'm happy to say that yesterday we gave our first lesson in Thai with NO NOTES!! We had dictionaries, but we only looked up two words the whole time. The only problem is that we haven't been very unified in our teaching. That's the hard part about trios, it's harder to be unified, and thus harder to teach with the spirit. We're working on it.

We're happy and excited for our Phii Thais who got their travel plans last week! They leave next Monday! We're going to miss them so much. : ( 

Recently Sister Barton and I have discovered four square. We love it!! We play with the Phii Thais, Cambodians, and Mongs. It can get pretty intense.

I love you all! And I love letters. : )

Sidtee ruu waa saadsanacag nii ben saadsanacag thii thee chin khaa. Sidtee ruu waa Phrayeesukhrid ben Phraphuuchuayhayrccd khccn raw. Prakhaw rag raw.

Talk to you next week! <3

Sister Zaugg

The Real First Post From The MTC

(I posted her first letter home before she sent us this email, so please excuse any repeated info's - Sister Zaugg's Mom)

Well, it's true when they say that days here last for weeks and weeks last for days. I can't believe that I've almost been here for a whole week and yet at the same time I'm like, "wait... I've only been here for less than a week?" It'll be like, 12PM and we're going to lunch and we realize it isn't dinner time and we're like, "HOW LONG IS THIS DAY??" But I think it's because we study all day long! It's wake, eat, study, study, learn Thai, teach in Thai, study, write in journal, go to bed. I sometimes don't get to read letters until the day after I get them.

Anyway,  first day, as soon as my host elder got my stuff it was go go go!! I got my books, dork dot and was sat in my classroom where my teacher was already speaking to us in Thai and expecting us to reply! My district is very small. There are only five of us Nccng Thai (young thai) and like, 28 of the Phii Thai (old thai)! They treat us like their children! haha The first day they just swarmed us and kept asking questions, we barely got to eat cause we had to talk so much.

 

On the second day we learned how to pray in Thai. Right now our district goal is to be able to give a full Thai prayer without the book by Sunday. We try only to pray in Thai now, but a lot of times it turns into Thaiglish. The crazy part is that we gave our first discussion to an investigator (pretend investigator) on the THIRD DAY!! IN THAI!! It went... uh... bad. haha I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty discouraged after that! But I knew that it was supposed to be hard and my companions (Sis Barton and Ng) were determined to focus and meeting Joe (investigator)'s needs! So the next day on our second lesson we focused on bringing the spirit into the lesson and making sure that he knew we care about him and love him and that our message was from a loving Heavenly Father. It went MUCH better! It was still bad, but we made sure to tell him that our Thai was bad so to bear with us. haha Yesterday we had our third lesson... and it was a disaster. About 3/4ths through we realized that for the last three lessons we've been teaching him the SAME thing. So we are praying very hard and studying and hoping that the Lord will teach us what Joe NEEDS to hear to grow closer to Christ. Our job as missionaries is to strengthen his relationship with God. It's just really hard because we are realizing that it's hard to know what to teach!!

But that's what the MTC is for right? I think it's just a miracle that we're even able to give him 30 minute lessons in Thai and kind of have a conversation with him when we've only had like.... 12 hours of instruction in total! The gift of tongues is SO real!

The first week was really hard, but everyone said to make it to Sunday and that it would be better and they were right! It is much better. I don't feel like I'm about to collapse at any given moment. The food at the MTC is pretty good. The cookies here are famtabulous!

Hmmm... can't think of anything else. Just know that I love you all, and I want to know how you're doing! I'm growing so much here, it's the hardest thing I've ever done so far, but I know that it'll all be worth it.

Sidtee ruu waa phaphupenchaw rag raw!

Sister Zaugg's First Letter Home

Saawatdii kha!

It's my second day at the MTC, but it feels like it's been weeks! It's go, go, go, all day long! I love it!

I am in District 30. There are 5 of us in my district (I'm in a trio). My companions' names are Sister Barton and Sister Ng. They are both really awesome and really different! I love them already.

I have been very busy. Learning Thai takes about 6 hours of my day. The tones are pretty hard. Today we learned how to say prayers in Thai. We're trying to memorize them by tonight so that we can say our prayers in Thai, since we share a room with a Cambodian trio and they say their prayers in Cambodian.

So, all of the Thai people already here are called Phii Thais (big Thais) and we are the Nxxy Thai (little Thais). They fawn over us like Aunts over chubby babies.

I'm super excited to learn more, and more, and more! We teach our first lesson tomorrow!

                                                                                  Love,

                                                                                       Sister Zaugg

Farewell

Before missionaries leave for the MTC, it is customary to give a "farewell" talk in church close to their departure. This is mine.

So, you know how on those missionary plaques that they put in the halls have scriptures on them? Well, the scripture that I picked for my plaque was to be the topic for my talk today. For weeks and weeks I looked for a scripture that had personal meaning for myself, but could also have personal meaning for any one else who read it. I wanted the perfect scripture. However, the problem with scriptures is that they all have personal meaning, and all are good.

If I could put all of Mosiah chapters 13 through 18 I would, so finding just that one scripture was a really difficult task for me. Eventually I explained my problem to my parents, and each gave me scriptures that I was surprised to have connected with deeply, and thought that both should be the scripture on my plaque. I couldn’t decide between the two, which proved to be an even bigger problem than just not knowing where to find it.

The one that my mom suggested is one of our very favorite scriptures, which is found in Alma chapter 5. Verse 29 says:

"And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"

I liked this scripture because it's an invitation to all who have felt of Christ's redeeming love to never let it go, but it has also been a very important and helpful scripture to me in the last 6 months or so and reminds me of my own personal conversion and decision to serve a mission.

I knew that God wanted me to serve a mission when I was 14 years old. President Monson gave a talk in conference that year about the Priesthood's duty to serve a mission, and even though it was addressed to the men, I felt and knew deeply that it was also for me. At the end of his talk I turned to my mom and said, "Mom, he was talking to me," to which she replied, "I know."

I've always had a testimony of the Gospel. I've had the truth of it spoken to me many times by the Spirit. However, in the last three years I found myself struggling with my testimony. Deep down I knew everything was true, but since living the Gospel had always come easy to me, I fell into a false sense of safety and complacency. I wasn't as sincere and diligent in studying the word and loving Christ and His Gospel as I did in my childhood. Pride entered my heart and I felt like I didn't need to read the scriptures every day, that I didn't need to be so careful about my media choices. I stopped nourishing my little seed of faith, and it started to die, and even though I couldn't see it at the time, looking back I see how little the Spirit had an influence in my daily life. I wasn't as happy as I could have been if I had relied more heavily on my Savior and been more obedient.

Harold B Lee said, "That which you possess today in testimony will not be yours tomorrow unless you do something about it. Your testimony is either going to increase or it's going to diminish depending on you."

Satan often finds us when life is easiest for us. He lulls us into complacency, and then he strikes with everything he's got.

In 2 Nephi 28:21 it says: "And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell."

When Fall term began at BYU I found myself dealing with the largest, most difficult trial I had ever encountered in my life, one which I had not been prepared for, partly because of it's unexpectedness, but mostly because I had distanced myself from Christ, and was too prideful to turn to Him for support. I had been cheated away from the Savior who died for my sins.

It was in those first few months that I felt completely and utterly alone. I don't ever remember in my entire life feeling as cold and dark as I did then. My testimony could have been crushed then, I could have walked away from it all at that point, but I remember one night in my despair praying with every ounce of sincerity that I had, saying, "Heavenly Father, I will give up everything and change if You will just help me survive this."

The love and peace I felt that night is something I can't explain, but it was then that I knew that I had never been alone, that Christ had held His arms out to me the whole time, and I had just been looking the other way.

Christ says in Matthew chapter 11: verses 28-30:

 "28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

I had been trying to carry this burden on my own in my own way for a long time, and all I had to do was put it and my pride down and pick up His yoke, which I firmly believe is easy because He carries most, if not all of the weight. When I made the decision to be more humble and faithful in my obedience to Christ, I suddenly found myself infinitely happier and fulfilled. For the first time in a long time I felt to sing the song of redeeming love, which I had forgotten. And it is the most beautiful song that I have ever heard, because I knew that it wasn't just for me. It made it possible for me to forgive and to have love and hope. And I knew that others needed to have it.

One of my new favorite hymns is Savior, Redeemer of my Soul:

Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow’r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

I testify that by being humble and doing what we think are the simple and little things of the Gospel, that we will be beyond the grasp of the devil, and we will be happy. If we will just put down our yoke and pick up Christ's, we will have joy. I also testify that we can't be fence sitters. The fence doesn't exist. You're either on God's side or you're not. Like Harold B. Lee said, if you aren't feeding you testimony and growing closer to Christ, you're smothering it and growing closer to the devil. You must choose whose side you're on.

I am so grateful that I was able to have this change of heart just before the announcement was made. I was so glad that I had already started the changes that would lead to a full testimony beforehand, because after the announcement was made, I knew that I needed to be firm in the Gospel of Jesus Christ before I could serve a mission. I was disappointed and a little angry with myself that I had not been prepared at the very moment that the announcement was made to put my papers in the next week, but it was a testament to me of God's knowledge and love for each of His children. He is aware of us and what we need. I marvel at His patient hand in guiding my preparation to becoming a tool in this great work.

And now that I have learned this for my self, I ask every one of you not to allow this to happen to you. Keep your testimony blazing  so that you can be a missionary at the drop of a dime, whether it be a full-time mission or a member-missionary opportunity. Don't let laziness or lack of committment keep you from sharing what the Gospel has to offer to others. Luckily I had gotten serious enough about my preparation that Heavenly Father let me know at an early date that I was ready to serve, but I know that it could have been worse had I not been willing to humble myself and change, and I will never let myself get that close to the edge again.

We each have received such amazing blessings from the Gospel. It brings us peace and joy, and we should never ever forget it. And if you are in the same position that I had found myself in: if you've felt it before, you can feel it again. It takes work, and humility, and patience, but it is worth it. We all need to sing the song of redeeming love so that others can hear it.

        Which brings me to the other scripture that my dad suggested to me. It’s the scripture that he had on his plaque when he served his mission in Florida. It’s Helaman 5:9, which says:

"O remember, remember, my sons, the words which king Benjamin spake unto his people; yea, remember that there is no other way nor means whereby man can be saved, only through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ, who shall come; yea, remember that he cometh to redeem the world."

This is the reason for missionary work. This is why I’m taking a break from school, my family, my friends, and my life for a year and half in Thailand. Not because I think it will be a fun experience, not because my parents want me to, not because every other 19 year old mormon girl is doing it but  because Jesus Christ atoned for our sins, died on the cross, and was resurrected so that we can be saved and return to our Heavenly Father someday, and there are people in this world who don’t know it. There are people who don’t know that no matter who they are, what they’ve done, or what people think of them, that they have a Heavenly Father who knows them, loves them, and wants them to be happy no matter what. They don’t know that because of the Savior’s atonement, they can repent and be forgiven of the wrong things that they’ve done.

Now that I have found my joy in Christ's Gospel, how can I keep it to myself? Lately I have been reading in the book of Alma, and I have found Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah to be amazing examples of how I should be as a missionary. In Mosiah chapter 28 verse 3 it says:

"Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble."

It isn't just about eternal salvation, though, it's about how Christ's Gospel can bless the lives of every person on Earth right now in their daily lives.

It's wanting every one to feel the love and comfort that I received when I was in anguish all those nights ago.

The amazing thing about the Gospel, is that the more we live it, and the more we match ourselves with the Spirit of God, the more we open ourselves to feeling the love He has for His children. During Stake Conference Brother Call said that the genuine love he feels for all of us, even if he has never met any of us, is because it isn't his love, but the Savior's. I've experienced a taste of that love, because I already care for the people of Thailand an incredible amount, even though I have never been there. I know that that is God's love, and it's that love that caused Him to give His only Begotten Son to die for us. It's that love that caused Him to give us the Book of Mormon. It's that love that caused Him to give us a living Prophet who directs us and guides us.

So maybe now you can understand why I had such a hard time picking between the two. It wasn't until Friday afternoon that I sat down and really prayed about it. I was eventually directed to Exodus 15:2.

"The Lord is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, and I will exalt him."

This is my scripture. To me, this was the perfect blend between the two scriptures from my parents. Jesus Christ saved me, and now I'm singing the song of redeeming love. I am so grateful to my parents and the words of wisdom that they have offered me. I have always admired their testimonies, but I had to make a place for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in myself, and now I have the opportunity to share that song with the people of Thailand, and watch it light up their lives.

This mission is not for me. It's not about me, and it never will be. This is about Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father, and His children. I am honored to serve the people there, and I know that if I am obedient, God will make me a tool in His hands, and He will change the hearts of many for the better.

I know that this Gospel is true. I am so grateful to Joseph Smith for having the courage to do all that God asked him to. It was hard, and it cost him his life, but look at what came from it. This Gospel changes lives for the better. I am living proof of that. Look around you; this ward is living proof of that. Our families are proof of that.

I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, and I hope I never take it for granted again. It testifies of Christ. It asks us to be better than what we are.

Above all, I know that My Redeemer lives. He lives, and loves all of us. He is the Redeemer of our Souls, and is always standing with His arms outstretched towards us. All we have to do is walk into them.
I'd like to close with a scripture in Alma chapter 26, verse 16:

"Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel."

I know these things are true, and am excited to share them with the people in Thailand. I say these things in the same of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.